[Editor’s Note: SOUND OFF is a column from Loud Loop founder/editor-in-chief Richard Giraldi. The views stated in SOUND OFF don’t represent the views of Loud Loop Press or probably anyone with half a brain.]

Remember last year’s Lollapalooza lineup? Sure, the middle-tier acts were lacking, but who cares? Radiohead, Rage Against The Machine, Wilco, Kanye West, The Raconteurs and Nine Inch Nails. That’s all I needed to know. Ticket bought.

However, it seems as though this year’s Lolla went the complete opposite direction in booking. The middle-tier acts are there, including a great number that played at 2008’s Pitchfork Music Festival such as Animal Collective, No Age, Vampire Weekend and Fleet Foxes.

But this year’s headliner selection is just so “Meh.” And I don’t mean the headliners just aren’t my cup of tea, but I’m talking about why are some of these acts even headline worthy? Since when did the Kings of Leon or The Killers become big enough to play opposite Jane’s Addiction or Depeche Mode?

Attention U.S. summer music festivals, I present you with a booking time saver.

Here are five sets of criteria that acts should meet in order to be a music festival headliner:

Let’s jump in, shall we?

1) Be Relevant (meaning that you are either touring in support of a recently released new album or will be releasing a new album soon).

I never understood how an album cycle or two could pass and a band could still be headline-worthy. Tool exemplifies this. They’re touring on an album that came out in 2006. At least make it seem like you’re trying. (Exceptions to the rule: Kick ass reunions i.e. The Pixies or Rage Against The Machine).

2) Your debut album has to have been released more than five years ago.

The Killers barely make the cut here. Their first album came out in 2004. It’s 2009, and apparently they’re primed for playing opposite alt-rock legends and innovators Jane’s Addiction. The Killers? Well, they have that one damn song that you hear at bars, which everyone sings along with except you because, well, it’s The Killers.

3) You can only headline one festival per summer.

Every summer there is one band that’s the flavor of the month and they’re headlining like three or four festivals. It’s like, “Oh man, Kings of Leon were sure sweet at Lollapalooza in Chicago. I can’t wait to see them again in a month at Austin City Limits where they play the same set in the same time slot for the same length of time.”

4) Don’t Suck.

I can’t stress this enough. It’s a slippery slope. I mean Eminem is headlining Voodoo Music Festival in New Orleans come October. Weezer is the big name act on this year’s edition of the Virgin Festival. It’s only a matter of time before these guys are on the [insert beer brand here] stage playing in front of 50,000.

5) You are Radiohead.

If you are Radiohead, then none of these rules apply to you. Radiohead are the end game of headliners. They’ve got the cred, the songs and the following. Radiohead as a summer concert headliner is NEVER the wrong choice.